~Unspeakable words~

It's 3am...I fear of going back to my bed. It was as if there's an evil source who keep extracting my tears out from my eyes. Memories flash back page by page. The picture of smiling faces all over the pages but as they go on those happiness fading away slowly destructing the smiley face in my head. More and more cold wars which have left unsaid appeared, once colorful pictures have now became grey and dull. And the last page was two once loving birds flying in an opposite directions just to avoid each other, never know who will be the one turning back to fly besides each other. As the memories flash, a tiny needle is slowly penetrating my heart. Are the tears flowing for their master? Or ...................

~QUESTIONS~

tok..tok..tok....The clock strikes 9pm and I'm still sitting here running my finger on my best 'dude' keyboard. I have talked alot of unnecessary things out today but I just felt OK (bearable sorrows). What does this indicates? Everybody was giving me the same reaction "Huh?" which is a word I'm already 'numb' to. Guess Linkin' Park was right in some way (the hit song:Numb). What he wants is just changing me to someone he wants.

QUESTION: Where do I hide my myself?

I can't lift myself as if I'm 1000 tonnes heavier than before. I'm down to my knees, struggling hard to sustain the weight inside me. They must have been left accumulated in my heart since long ago and now it weighs tonnes!! Who can remove all the sorrows inside me and show me the miracle to believe in fairy tales once again? Remind me of Momoko Tao (nu ren xin si) saying "You'll find your happiness one day" Just be patient......

QUESTION: Does patience remove the sorrows?

Duup..duup.....water? Where do they come from? Without thinking she uses towel and soak them dry but they just won't stop running down! There's nothing she can do to stop the droplets, NO "water tap" and as if they came from a limitless 'lake'. Then all of sudden her vision blur. The watery lake has taken full control over her......

QUESTION: What kinda 'towel' can soak all the water from the lake?

Staring above the sky...stars twinkling with the company of Mr moon. Looks like at this moment I can only find hope through the guiding stars. My eyes continuously hunting for something different in sight but sadly there's nothing appeared. In front of me, there lies a limitless desert which has no direction. I had no idea how long I've walked from the reality. Somebody just get me outta here.

QUESTION: Instead of getting me out, who is willing to walk through the desert with me?

She's right...."too many time for so little things to be said". Even a simple missed call and short sms can't slip off from my finger to reach him. Is he thinking the same thing as I do? Sadly time has come but none moves a step forward. Why isn't my mouth muscle moving to mumble out the thing that I had wished to express? I've been trying for long...long...looks like my patience does have a wall of limit. Perhaps he also don't bother to speak. Has he tried as hard? My feet is so heavy that I could hardly lift it to step inside his shoes and think for him anymore. The weight is overwhelming this time....

tok tok....It's 10pm now. Inspirations dried out.............
ZzZzzzz.....

~The Nature law~

Presenting Electron and Hole……

Electron: Why aren’t you following my steps? I thought we have always been good

partners who always stick to each other?

Hole: I..I….I just can’t…..it’s by nature I’m moving this way. I am me, not you!

Electron: I don’t get you, you have always been stubborn, never listen to me. Can’t you

just try?

Hole: (speechless….)

Guess Electron just won’t stop blaming Hole for not moving in the same direction of conduction with Electron. Now everyone, let’s try putting yourself in Hole’s shoe. What will you do? Is it worth while for Hole to move against its flow just to catch up with its buddy Electron flow? No matter how hard Hole is willing to try, deep inside it just won’t happen because everybody has their uniqueness. And because of the uniqueness, they are given with the names, Electrons and Holes.

And because we are unique with our own DNA, we are called by our names. With this uniqueness, we have a very special control unit of our own called mind. But at a corner of this small space, there live a small evil that is desperately influencing every little cells of our subconscious. With weaker “control unit”, we lose the battle against the evil. Evil always take the fullest control when we are so in love with another, which makes us become more and more demanding on that special someone. Sometimes we expect too much from them that eventually hurt them indirectly. The good old days which were once fairy tales are all wiped out from the memory now. Back then I was struggling to find the Miss Perfect inside me. “Hello? Miss Perfect doesn’t exist!” Tried so hard and yet my efforts are not recognized just because human will never put a full stop to their desires. There are times when I felt as if I’m a slave to a king waiting to be pampered all the time. When will I have the chance to be pampered the same way? To be loved and appreciated the same way? Come to realize it, I suddenly felt the importance of the answer to this common question “Do you love me?”

Or could it be something that we didn’t sweat for is something that we don’t treasure most? You will realize how true it is when it comes to you. Nah, forget it, bet you won’t even understand what I was writing. I have always doubt human can wake up from their dream just by listening to others’ advices. If we have such capabilities, we won’t have so many case of suicidal and failures. I really start to wonder whether it is good having too much of patience. However this is rather a complex study of human emotions which we will never understand……..

~Truth~

I'm back again here in this small little space of mine, back into the world of thoughts again. I wish i could just say out everything to a balloon and release it just like that to the mighty space above.
Cute Cute cuteeeeee Kawaiiiiiii...........Oh my God, my little cutie bro is so cute with his rosy cheek and that innocent face knowing nothing but only giggle. What a great gift! Being a kiddo, living in childhood has always been the best thing to do, anyhow men grows. And eventually it is some kind of an "evolution" when they started to peel off their innocent face and transforming into wild wolves under a mask. This is what we have in reality. There are times when you put too many masks to cover your face, you forget who is your real self. Getting too close to someone might let you see the truth behind that mask but unfortunately it is not too "healthy" to do so. As it might have just hurt your own feeling... I'm growing older and older, things getting pretty complicated, life is abit spoiled if you are on the line of pesismistic, and if you look further into it, you will notice that it's a "story" you been writing all this while. Spoiled brats, cincai to demanding partners, deteriorating results, meaningless life bla bla bla it's just a story written by our own fingers. Regrets? Better don't get near to this danger zone coz if you do, you nothing more than a trash. There's one thing I notice bout myself which is erm....could be bad or it's a good thing.... I'm being more and more straight forward, could be hurting sometimes. This is bad...I'm slipping off bits by bits of my patience, who can seal this hole in my heart for me? Only you.....don't let me down~