Tired....I'm tired.....

Who can help me?
Nobody......
I'm all alone
Who will be my listener?
Nobody.......
I'm all alone
Where is the shoulder I need?
None.......
I'm all alone
Who will guide me?
Nobody.....
I'm all alone

Yes, alone and tired.....

~Stucked~

When I thought everything is moving forward, I was wrong. It is still there! Probably good at hiding but it is still there. It hasn't disappear for good. Does this mean I have to give in to fate? Is this something that can't be changed and the solution left is I gotta accept it? Well I guess so. I wish he would realised it too. Wish he would consider my feelings, consider changing himself into a better man......hopefully.......

God please help me. Don't let me fed up and stop trying. Make him realise it.................

~I love you~

Song playing in my head:

I wonder how I wonder why
Yesterday you told me bout the blue blue sky

But all that I can see is just a yellow lemon tree

I'm turning my head up and down

turning turning turning around but

all that I can see is just a yellow lemon tree......

Yeah another boring day sitting in the office, doing nothing after a rush morning and noon. Not feeling that well though, thanks to my stomach! *Sigh*

Oh yeah before I forgot, back to the 3 words title. Often that we heard from TV, read from magazine or even view from websites that goes , "Say it now before you let yourself regret for your own pride !" Yeah it's the 3 little magic words we'r talking about here...Does it sound hard for you? Nah..I'm no good with the 3 words thingy as well but I wonder what are we still waiting here? Day by day passes by but in a day how many times you voice out the 3 magic words to your loved one? Your family? Ever hug your sister before?
NO! oops, don't misunderstood. That's my answer! What am I waiting? I don't know. Unconsciously, I repeat the same routine everyday but I forgot bout showering love to my precious family.

Today I've heard a bad news from a friend. Her grandma has passed away a few days ago. It strucked me a moment, recalling that my grandma has aged as well, thinking of how important she is to me, I start to fear the loss of her. Realising how fragile human can be, death is something that is unavoidable. So let us pray for her grandma as she continues her journey to heaven. It sure hurts alot for someone to see their loved ones gone forever and never able to see them again ever. I'm lucky to be able to realise that now as I still have my family with me. Do you know why the fear of a death one gets to haunt us? I believe mostly is due to the regrets of that individual, realising he/she hasn't done a single good thing to the beloved till it has gone too far away for he/she to do it ever again! So I wonder if we are waiting for this day to come. Does human enjoy regretting? Definitely NO! So just speak the magic words.....

The magic words can brighten up a person's life when one comes back with depression and work pressures. It brings happiness and sweetness for a couple even though it's only 3 little words. 3 little words is more than enough to show a care of a kid to a mom. It's means alot although you keep repeating it. Trust me hearing it, it cures broken hearts. Hearing it, it brings hopes and new life. Nobody is lonely, nobody can survive alone. Everybody need someone there to support. And therefore wives support husbands, moms support children as well as friends support friends ! So see?? Our world is so full of love. Love is something that can't be lacked and the simplest way to show it is through the 3 little words.

So,

- I LOVE YOU -

p.s : I love you sis!!! Good luck in exam!
p.s : Butterfly loves Grasshopper too!!!!!!!!! *Muaks*

WHAT IS YOUR DATE OF BIRTH, MATCH AND SEE WHAT ANIMAL ARE YOU...

January 1 - 9 ~ Dog

January 10 - 24 ~ Mouse

January 25 - 31 ~ Lion

February 1 - 5 ~ Cat

February 6 - 14 ~ Dove

February 15 - 21 ~ Turtle

February 22 - 28 ~ Panther

March 1 - 12 ~ Monkey

March 13 - 15 ~ Lion

March 16 - 23 ~ Mouse

March 24 - 31 ~ Cat

April 1 - 3 ~ Dog

April 4 - 14 ~Panther

April 15 - 26 ~Mouse

April 27 - 30 ~Turtle

May 1 - 13 ~ Monkey

May 14 - 21 ~ Dove

May 22 - 31 ~Lion

June 1 - 3 ~ Mouse

June 4 - 14 ~ Turtle

June 15 - 20 ~ Dog

June 21 -24 ~ Monkey

June 25 - 30 ~ Cat

July 1 - 9 ~ Mouse

July 10 - 15 ~ Dog

July 16 - 26 ~ Dove

July 27 - 31 ~ Cat

August 1 - 15 ~ Monkey

August 16 - 25 ~ Mouse

August 26 - 31 ~ Turtle

September 1 - 14 ~ Dove

September 15 - 27~ Cat

September 28 - 30~ Dog

October 1 - 15 ~ Monkey

October 16 - 27 ~ Turtle

October 28 - 31 ~Panther

November 1 - 16 ~ Lion

November 17 -30 ~ Cat

December 1 - 16 ~ Dog

December 17 - 25 ~ Monkey

December 26 - 31 ~ Dove

Dog

Your Attractive and popular. Your nice and easy going and make friends with everyone very easily. Your cool and smart and are a leader.

Cat

Your very shy and cute. You are a follower and don’t like to talk to people you dont know. Your very careful about choosing your friends. You’re really nice.

Monkey

You are attractive and hyper. You have a lot of friends and your really outgoing. You gossip alot. Your funky and "unique" there’s no one else like you. You want attention and like to be a leader.

Panther

You are mysterious. You have lots of friends and can be mean at times or nice. You always have the latest gossip with you and you are a leader.

Mouse

Your very quiet and quick - witted. You are very shy. You’re cute and funny. You have a little group of friends. Youare not "popular" but you are not a "geek"

Lion

You are a born leader. People look up to you. You have lots friends and you are very attractive. You’re nice andpeople want to be your friend. You make friends easily.

Turtle

You are very nice and pretty. You treat others as you would want to be treated yourself. You have lots of friends and never talk about anyone behind their back. You are loyal.

Dove

Your very peaceful and nice. You fall in love very easily and you are quiet and calm. You are not very shy but you are not outgoing. You are a leader of your group of friends

~He was right!~

"..you do not even know what you want. You had never put your trust in me..."

Familiar to the gentlements? It sounds mean to a girlfriend huh? Though there might be truth within the phrase above for some couples out there. Ever wonder why do girls cry? Just because they are weak? Yes in some way BUT most of the time they cry is when they are facing problem with their loved ones. That's when they feel they couldn't go further in the argument and left speechless and defenseless of their beloved's bullets. Not because they admitted that they were wrong but it is just that their heart has sunken too deep to speak more. Let's forget bout confrontation man! This is not time, what a girl need at a time like this is a warm hug from her loved one. This is a moment when girl feel worst and not secured. Girls couldn't bear it when they heard words like above from a man that she trusted most. They can take blames from others strongly, they can take criticism and doubt from others with no hard feelings BUT just not him. Any tough and strong woman will always let their egoism off and taking out the bulletproof top when they are with their trusted man. And this explain why woman break down in tears easily in front of their man.

Everytime Grasshopper said that, poor little butterfly would feel a pinch of pain at her heart just like needle piercing through. "Believe it or not..I trust you wholeheartedly." thought buttefly helplessly. She might not split a word when Grah* claimed that, it's just useless for her to keep on fighting back.
What is in her mind now is to prove to Grah. She does not know when will Grah see it but she will not give up. BUT......

"Please make me stay forever. Please don't force me to leave......"

He once said so. Yes butterfly still remember it despite the tiny brain she has. That was once a crisis and it happened because of the word "TRUST". No doubt that women do put wrong blames on man especially when they are mad at him. By nature women are far more sensitive than men, so it's not a surprise that their reaction is bigger. On the other hand, eventually this act seems to bring a feeling of not-to-be-trusted to the men. And here they have two difference point of view. However there are no right or wrong. Come on we are not judging or sentencing a guilty. What matters here is the strong faith that the both have as an item, as well as the tolerance and generousity that both have to forgive.

Butterfly : Love is something that can't be predicted....(low tone)
Bazza : Yes you can! If u hold a strong faith in it!

Is it true? Yes ofcos it is!
So have faith................

*p.s : Grah - Grasshopper

~Back at work~

It's 9:43am, I'm sitting at my workstation, day-dreaming, waiting time to pass as fast as it could. But again it's only 9:44am.....there are hundreds of minutes I'll have to wait for me to off work today. There are times when I feel like quitting, there are times when I feel sick of sitting in front of my pc surfing net, I wouldn't wanna do admin eveer again! *Sigh* BUT the good thing I have so much free time here is that I can write my blog!!

"tik tok tik tok...." Another minute pass.
Time : 9:50am (yay!!)

As time passes, it somehow remind me of something. Something that my previous post had mentioned. Finally, I've got to listen to a battle of conversation between two different concepts of life yesterday. Listening is good but I just hate to decide. Those questions shot to me previously were so mean yet the truth is inside...and it left me speechless.

Beetle : What is your mission of life? Why do you never think for the
sake of your family? Think now!

It's true that I used to be very high spirited. But now some people back then confronted me and tell me how ego and stubborn I was and still I am! Is there no other way but I have to live like you all do?

Maybe he was right. I do not know what I want whether in a relationship or in life matters. I do not have my sense of direction. Where am I heading? I do not know! Minute by minute it flows, sooner or later it will flow like the rush of river when I'm least expected. Where will the rush bring me?

Time : 10:27 am.............

Conclusion? Time passes good only for temporary but not for long term.

It's been sunny these two days.
Anyway it's not really that bad staying at home since I've got plenty of Bleach episodes to watch! Sigh* I'm sure I'm gonna get myself blind someday cos of excessive naked eyes exposure towards unfiltered computer screen. Now I start to understand why some people might just sit still in front of their precious computer, chasing off the episodes of their favourite drama or anime without any sense of time. Well, the question is does this consider as wasting time?

Devil Butterfly : Yeah..of cos I know! I've been stuck indoor. Sigh* My wings just
can't wait to flap!!

What is Bleach?
This is a hell good anime that nobody should miss it! It's about the battle of death god against the hollow who is the evil spirit from hell. The story goes pretty smooth in the beginning where u won't feel that much of excitement but just enough to keep ur suspend to it. Reaching episodes 20+, the story catching up rather fast where the battle mode change from fight between ghost and god to a rescue mission of a soon to be executed death god, the battle is held between human souls and death god. Those were once heroes as death god had their bad sides revealed now. So guys don't missed out this great anime!

Back to business, I recalled a short sms sent by a friend that goes,
"Every day u wait is another u missed out..."
It's indeed true that the phrase hold a strong meaning inside which is meaningful for many young people who waste time off without achieveing anything in a day, and there goes their youth moment in those fantasy that the globalisation world has to offer. However not many people agree on this as they thought that young should enjoy their life young, not wanting to work things out for their future as their mind has simply been poisoned with this reasonings. Here goes butterfly stories....

Buttefly was once an energetic youth who is always open for any lessons. Maybe this can be the reason why she has all the reasonings in her tiny head as well as the rational sense she had. She knows it well that only through learning she will gain her acknowledgement as well as the permit to forward in this society. She hates to be looked down. She has a big dream that she neither want to work her life off nor worn her wings out just like that. She did made her step back then to try realise that dream of hers but....laziness held her back. But thank god she still keep that positive little mind and see things positively. In her mind, there's only one question, is there another chance of revival?
"What is holding you back?" These has been a famous question that many other bugs pinpoint to butterfly. But so sorry ,"I'm lazy." That's a low tone answer of butterfly. Deep inside the world of butterfly's heart, she is in deep confusion. Guess she just need a starter to put on those fire that has been cooled down for almost a year. All these are just mere excuses! She knew it well. She knew it....

Chicken : This is a great oppurtunity that we all should see.
Butterfly : Yeah. (Burning deep down her heart but what she did is just respond positively)

After hearing the great business plan Mr Chicken offers, she felt herself struggling once more. Her confusion has been disturbed once more. Things might just seem easy, looks like buttterfly has lost her confidence. Is that it?

Grandpa : Remember what I said to you back then when I first see you? I said you will be a good
help to the team if you joined me and do you believe me?
Butterfly :Yeah I remember.
Grandpa : I won't make mistakes easily when I judge one. Sometimes you may not know yourself fully
and sometimes things may not seem suitable for us until we really give it a try, right?
Butterfly : True.

Is this time to rebuilld the confidence she once had lost? Should I chase back the time I've lost?

~Seven thingz~

1) Seven things that (will) scare me:
a) Death of loved ones
b) Ghosts
c) Emptiness
d) Disappointment
e) Lose friends
f) Broken heart
g) Unsolvable problems

2)Seven things I like the most:
a) company of loved ones
b) Jokes
c) Honest people
d) Experiences
e) Taking pictures
f) Trip with friends
g) Satisfaction of achievement

3)Seven things most important in my room:
a) Double deck bed
b) Books
c) Yellow Light
d) Pillowssss (yeah...pillowSSS!!)
e) Photo albums
f) Mirror
g) Glowing stars (I'm a glow thingy freak)

4)Seven random facts bout me:
a) I'm not smart.
b) I'm playful.
c) I'm loyal.
d) I'm heavy.
e) I hate liars.
f) I love you!
g) I love yummy food!

5)Seven things I planned to do before I die:
a) Tell loved ones how much I love them too!
b) Marriage
c) Raise two healthy kids
d) Get a house
e) Travel the world
f) Eat the food I love
g) Watch sun set and sun rise

6)Seven things I can do:
a) Sleep
b) Talk
c) Jokes (Do lame jokes count?)
d) Listen to people's heart
e) Sing
f) Sleep
g) Smile!

7)Seven things I can't do:
a) Eat a bowl of rice
b) Drink after eat
c) Spend like Paris Hilton
d) Live alone
e) Scold
f) Write chinese
g) Control my tears

8)Seven things I say most:
a) huh?? (Baka...)
b) Yor..
c) Sot geh!
d) Ish~(*slap*)
e) hehehe
f) I don't understand..
g) Speechless (wondering how stupid I am)

9)Seven celebrities crush:
-Nope I don't have any..( sot geh! )-

10)Seven people I'll love to see doing this:
a) Eric Ooi
b) Yanjie
c) Kaiboon
d) Sifu David
e) Chan Chee Wing
f) Tenzen
g) Jeffery