~Pathetic me?~

"Taaadaaa".....
Staring long at the sms he sent, not knowing what reaction to put on my face. Sometimes people can be so unpredictable. Those words were neither enouraging nor comforting but they are harmful to my pride! How could I do something like this. So I'm pathetic huh? Maybe I was but am I not speaking the truth? Every word I speak is from the deeep scar you had left on me and those words were all about ME! ME as in MY OWN feelings. It is up to outsiders to judge us. NOT the power of my words. IF the outsiders are just so blind and they put the fault on your head then I'm sorry. But I believe they have their own mind to see things through. Till now I still think it was nobody's fault. I thought you would have the same opinion but I was bloody wrong and naive! I'd been throwing myself here and there, think for other people but what do I get? It's ok because I don't pray for good return though but what is this shit thrown on me? What's with the blame! A single meet up with a friend caused a total of misunderstanding! I learnt how to accept cruel words but the 'blaming' elements inside really PISSED me off.

Pretending to be a victim was not my intention. All I want was to release all the sorrows inside my head. Is this a crime? It took me sooo damn long to clear them off and what do you know about it? The conclusion as in I STABBED your back while you endured more pain? So all I can do is swallow all the pains and hoping they will digest on their own, huh? I had too much already. Gimme a break would ya! I don't blame you for what happened to us, the boundary is just so clearly drawn when I finally awake. All the things you said and done were so contradicting, you want it this way but you did it the other way. And you're still doing it! Wake up man! You're not the only one working on it and letting it go. To be a gentlement, you gotta have a bigger heart and more considerate thinking than this. Work on it man or else another one will make you looks like the source of evil again! (IF that's the way you want to put it)